TO LOVE IS TO CARE
I would like to share this short excerpt from ‘A Heart Full of Stars’, which I wrote along with my dear friend Francesc Miralles. It goes like:
The calm voice of the host took the boy away from his thoughts.
―How do I have the pleasure of your visit?
―It may seem strange to you ―Michel resolved― but I have been entrusted with finding the nine kinds of love and… I thought you could help me.
Antoine stirred his coffee into the cup with the little spoon while thinking aloud:
―Nine types then… How many have you got already?
―Romantic love ―he replied sheepishly.
The host nodded and squinted, as if trying to retrieve a forgotten memory. Finally he said:
―The romantic one is the beginning of it all. All of us fall in love one time or another. Sometimes even more than once. Now, moving on to the second phase requires a nice degree of mastery ―he added, winking.
―Which is that second phase?
―It is the long-term love. It is even more valuable than the romantic one, because it has stood the test of time. I am an example of that. It is twenty-one years and three months that Camille is not with us, but I keep on doing things as she liked them to be.
Michel smiled to himself, knowing that Antoine was about just to lose a piece of his clothing.
―I like keeping alive those things that made her days up ―the host said on, without any sadness in his words. After all, we are what we love. We die when no one thinks of us.
The young visitor recalled the vision of Eri in bed with a mixture of happiness and pain. He had not stopped thinking about it not even a minute since she had been trapped in that eternal sleep.
Antoine drained his cup of coffee before getting up to put a half log onto the fire. Then he said:
―That’s what true love is.
―What do you mean?
―Love is always having a log onto the fire. Only that way we keep up the flame. It sounds obvious, but too many people forget it. That is why so many couples won’t get on well. If you truly love, remember this, my lad: even if you are tired, you have to go find logs to feed the fire. If you do not, in the morning you will only find the ashes of what your love had been.
―By the way, the accountant added. If you come on Friday, I will cut a rose that is growing in the garden. I have known about this girl…
―Eri ―sighed the boy.
―You will bring her the first rose of the year. Who said that those who sleep cannot smell the roses?
Yes, perhaps love is more than a feeling, it is caring in a consistent way, a delicate balancing act that involves consciousness to appreciate what we receive from the other and also what the other is about, for that significant other to feel and recognize love is requited. Every day we should put a log in our home. Out from that mutual recognition arise respect, admiration, gratitude. The flame is therefore kept alive and giving heat as well.
No doubt, loving is not only wanting the best for the other, but also making it happen for them. And that is not only related to the universe of our partners, but also to our friends, also to the people we meet in the exercise of our jobs.
Lack of awareness, laziness and inertia are bad company in this process. They will not put that log at home and that will eventually affect the flame to fade to nothing.
So I think love is a job that requires perseverance, a process that needs to be fed with the affection of the parts that build it to stay alive through time, realizing the value of what is given and what is received, in a delicate balance.
Hugs and kisses,
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