MISTAKES AND LIES

Erring and lying are two very different actions. Clearly. But too often they seem to go hand in hand.

I mean that too often that lie arises to mask, to manipulate or to deny having made a mistake. Here is the link between them.

When someone makes a mistake in a manual or mental process, because of poor judgment, or lack of training, experience or ability, that mistake is forgivable if displayed openly for what has occurred. Moreover, as soon as an error is recognized, the more we can learn from it, and it comes immediately improved. Thus, the open and transparent recognition of an error is a quick turning towards improvement. Hence, and it is not that obvious, that one of the best methods of learning is the “trial and error” one. Recognizing that we are wrong because we are learning, rehearsing, with humility and truth, provides us with inner growing, comprehension and real integration. And if it takes the apology or forgiveness for the mistake, they arise naturally among good people. And there is nothing more to say.

But things get complicated when trying to hide, mask or deny the error. When it is about recognizing incompetence. Then comes the lie. And along with lying, error become manipulation. Because lying is wrong, but emotional error opens the door to false excuses, occultations, to distortions, to allegations, pride, denial of reality, and many other perversions of character. And that kind of error (the lie and its derivatives) is not so easily forgiven. Therefore, the one who commits it does not dare not admit it, he hides it. And it may happen castles of lies are built, for example, which has led us to the so-called crisis we are living (is a scam, I must insist for the umpteenth time).

Can you imagine a high political or financial profile of any wing, declaring on television: “I’m sorry, I made mistakes, hid them, denied the reality, I lied, really. Sorry from the heart”? Today, and especially in our situation, this essentially human fact is inconceivable. So much of perversion. But if someone had the guts and courage to do so many things would change. Or would begin to change at least. What happens is that nobody seems to be wrong, to tell lies, no one recognizes that, nobody knows how to apologize soul-naked. And that is how things go.

The error is not the problem. The problem is the lie. Forever.

That is why emotional, social and psychological education is so necessary for our children. For tomorrow, in the exercise of their responsibilities, if they make mistakes, and they will, as we all do, at least they will not lie.

The solution to recognize an error is saying: “I was wrong”. But the solution does not involve only to admit a lie, but the true repentance: “I’m sorry” together with a promise, a commitment, “it will not happen again”; and with a reality, that the promise is fulfilled.

Hence the need for laws. For those who do not love. Because he who loves and recognizes the error does not lie.

Hopefully we get to a day when, thanks to culture, laws might be unnecessary because our children would know to love what we have failed to. That is the true utopia.

Kisses and hugs.

Álex