WHAT I NEED TO LIVE IS
Today, while listening to Pablo playing the piano, so emotional because of the beauty of the composition and his performance, with no intention or foreseeing, I realized that my mind wandered on what I need to live. And I realized that…
I need the balm of music, which I could not live without.
And the verses of poetry, the book in my hands, the smell of printed paper, my pencil underlining and taking notes, the time in which the book rests closed on my chest, when the word pierces the soul unexpectedly.
I need the sky at night, and the moon, and stars. And silence, that blessed silence that is only broken by the voice of the wind when everything sleeps.
I need the sea and the ocean, getting lost in the horizon and its sound, and the smell of tar, and the caress of the waves on the sand, and the feeling of letting the water rock my body.
And the smell of baked bread, and wet soil, and the juicy grass, and when the log burns and turns into embers at home.
I need the walk through the woods and the countryside, and contemplating life and its beat at every season. Dwelling on the rock or the trunk and lying over and watching the water stream and the cloud in the sky. And the water of the fountain, and the berry on the branch, the fruit and that unexpected flower that is a gift from the Earth.
I need a meeting with a friend, the privacy of a conversation, dialogue, that ride through life itself and the other’s that braids on joys and sorrows, pains and hopes.
I need my children. Their skin, their voices, the noise in the house and the mess of scattered toys. I need to see them when they sleep, and give them the kiss that might save them from harm. I need their healthy and happy, because they are the meaning of it all.
I need to see my parents aging, and recognize in them the passing of time, the love that survives, a fate that holds for me, the inevitable goodbye that connects me to life here and now, because the wrinkles of age are the furrows of time through which all of us walk and come to an end.
I need to make love to her. Making love. Do it, build it, create it, every gesture, hug, look, cooing, momentum. I need to know that love exists because it is, and it is manifested in the skin, the eyes, the kiss in the dreamt embrace. And making it with the small gestures of every moment, walking together, building together, live-in-love-for-two.
I need to know that goodness is out there, and hope will not give on up. And that I can convene them whenever I cannot find them.
I need to share the beauty. What moves me, surprises me, what gives me joy, what connects me to life. I need to open the gift with others.
And I need to thank for every given moment, each beat and every breath that connects me to life.
That is really all I need.
Hugs and kisses,
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