How I can change myself? That is the most common question I usually hear whenever I have a meeting that aims to talk about transformation, change, inner growth… It is THE question.

But it is worth stopping to observe who is that part of us that actually asks the question: our fearful self or our bold self.

It might happen that the self who asks the question is the part of us who is terrified of change and its consequences, and yet feels unable to do so. If so, far from questionning what we place is an expression of resignation exclaim hidden in a question: “How I can change myself!”. From that position change is very difficult, if not impossible. If what we want is to change without any charge or cost, or possible pain or effort, and with total success previously guaranteed, it is better to let it go. That does not exist. Life does not work that way, I think, humbly.

If, on the other hand, the part of us who asks the question is the bold self, we do not get the answer in a mental or spoken schedule. We act. Full stop. We do. That is it. How I can change myself? By doing something new and/ or different that helps me change what I think I am bit by bit. Because the change of our inner narrative, our beliefs occurs naturally when we act consciously. And it is worth breaking down and unite the two concepts: ACT + BEING CONSCIOUS. He who acts from that position spends his life not mulling over what to do or he will do. Obviously, he needs time for reflection, assessment of risks and costs of change, and their planning, and then he dwells into the sea of uncertainty, towards his desired island, and starts to paddle and move the sails. He lives in a conscious uncertainty: “I do not know what will happen, but I know I want to go for it, and although I do not succeed, life may hold other gifts along the way  for me as learning opportunities, experiences, new people, new scenarios, new thoughts, new treasures of spiritual order  I cannot conceive or imagine today”.

Then, what part of us is making the question? If it is the one wanting to live in an unconscious certainty, it will remain in question and be used as an excuse to justify (oneself) how impossible it is to change. If, on the contrary, it is who admits that life consists in living a conscious uncertainty (no one can guarantee one hundred percent that will be alive in the very next minute, for example), gives in to life in a dialectic of thought-emotion-action-legacy which is to last. Because that one not only acts, but is willing to give, to share the fruits of their achievements.

Social change, world improvement, projects that are really worth have been made up by those crazy people who have won and sometimes convinced not only their own fears, but also and above all, the opinions of others (even made by close people who loved them) and which would act as winds, tides and storms against them, and which claimed they would not make it at all. Blessed are those crazy people who live in uncertainty but are highly aware. They are the ones who provide us with a better world because they never renounce to the conquest of utopia. And living is just that, maybe. Conquer new horizons that improve life in this world. Jung put it well: “The unlived life is a disease from which one can die”. Yes.

Live it. And let’s not make ourselves the main alibi against the process of growing and evolving. If one thing is certain is that we cannot beat death and uncertainty. Let life be then our ally before those both overcome us. Just worth it, literally.

Happy day, kisses and hugs,



Alex Rovira